Is there a way to edit a shortcode so that a profile being used in a form appears properly on a page? The default mode that appears is a little funky.
It looks like you are wishing the profile snippet (on the left) looked more like the form on the right. You can achieve this by modifying your site's css file to style the profile snippet. Add a border, background color, change the font, hide the cancel button, widen the label column, etc. If you're unfamiliar with css, there are many good tutorials on the internet, and firebug is your friend.
To make the labels read like the one on the right, go into the civicrm admin area and edit those fields in the profile to remove "(given" and "(family" from the labels if you wish.