I have managed to cobble together a view that mostly works:
go to admin/structure/views
click "add new view"
Show: civicrm contacts
Display Format: Table
fill out the rest of the fields as you like, then click "continue and edit"
In the view editor, click "advanced"
under relationships, add the following:
CiviCRM Contacts: CiviCRM Relationship (starting from contact A)
Choose the type of relationship you want. I chose Parent/child.
(CiviCRM Relationship (starting from contact A)) CiviCRM Relationships: Contact ID A
Select "starting from contact A"
Name this contact. I named it "child"
(CiviCRM Relationship (starting from contact A)) CiviCRM Relationships: Contact ID B
Select "starting from contact A"
Name this contact. I named it "parent."
Now that the relationships are in place, you can add your fields. for example, add a field "civicrm contacts: display name." it will give you the option to use a relationship. choose "child" from the drop down menu. Make sure to change the label to reflect what you've done.
Then you can do the same thing again but this time pick "parent."
You will see a table that displays like so (please excuse my inability to create a table here):
Child Name | Parent Name
Tom Jones Jr | Tom Jones, Sr
Tom Jones Jr | Tabitha Jones
As you can see, the issue with this solution is that when a single child has two (or more) parents, that student is listed twice. If anyone has a solution to that issue, I'd be most grateful to have it. In an ideal world, the output would be as follows:
Child Name | Parent Name | Parent Name
Tom Jones Jr | Tom Jones, Sr | Tabitha Jones
I haven't yet reached that ideal state, but what I have does pull what I need, data-wise.